11 New Ways To Refer To So-Called Islamic State And Make Them Less Intimidating

*From the Office of Theresa May, Prime Minister of the United Kingdom*

***FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE AND DISTRIBUTION***

FAO: “The Media”

Terrorism feeds on terror. Terrorists literally eat your terror.  This Government believes that the first step in defeating terrible terrorists and their terrorism is to make them sound less terribly terrifying. From this date onwards, all media is required to use terms only from the list below to refer to the so-called “So-Called Islamic State”. United, we can undermine these terrorismists and embarrass them into so-called inaction.

1. The Bum Fart Bum-Bum Fartypants Crew

2. Crumpetsniffers Anonymous

3. Those Silly Bastards

4. Tinywillies 4 Justice

5. They Who Secretly Wear Their Wives’ Pants

6. Jerry and the Pacemakers

7. The Liberal Democrats

8. Ooojabooboo Hadooojaboo-Booboos

9. Big Bouncy Boobies

10. Mother Theresa

11. Terry

 

***END OF MESSAGE***

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